Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Scrawled 8:26 PM
Got my passport renewed today, going to photocopy later. Oh the hassle.
Mika-san hold dis 4 mi, i g2g VS the brits in msia and spore. I brb, luv you tc.
-Famous last words of general H.A. Yoshinoya, to his daughter before he went to lead the Japanese in the great battle of Johor.
More on Mr. Yoshinoya. He is one of the bravest Japenese war heros of all time, it is rumoured that they even named a fast food joint after him.
A brilliant tactician and a cunning strategist, Yoshinoya led the Japanese into the blistering heat of the Johor desert and even after his jealous superiors left his troops (and him) with only half a days rations. He managed to smash the French, British, American, Elven armies and a squad of polar bears, with only half strength of the 16th skate scooter regiment.
Marching (or riding) onto singapore, they encountered resistance in the form of a few checkpoint authority officers demanding to see their passports at the causeway. Heeding Yoshinoyas advice, the Japanese soldiers skillfully executed the strawberry marmalade maneuver and quickly seized the causeway in under five minutes.
After slaughtering all the poultry in woodlands, Yoshinoya gave his soldiers a well deserved break by ordering wholesale KitKat from the local distributer. It was during this time that while taking a bathroom break at the singapore river he was ambushed by some Space Monkey Partisans. Yoshinoya sustained a laser blast to both his ankles (thanks to the superb gunnery skills of the monkeys) but he still managed to scream really loudly to frighten of the monkeys who then teleported back to the Istana.
The wounds from the lasers did not kill him (like duh. ankles?) however Yoshinoya lost his balance and toppled into the Singapore river and was consequently smoothered to death by the toxic muck. A River tour boat came along carrying some tourists singing some songs although this is not related to the "story"
His untimely demise caused the sky above Japan to shatter, and it so happened that Zeus had refused to pack up his two favourite toys the atomic bombs "big boy" and "little boy" the night before. Throwing a tantrum he left his toys on the sky above japan before going to watch World Wrestling Federation.
The Japanese sky released the Toys onto the islands, while the Japanese people scurried about screaming for ultraman and doraemon to come and save them but to no avail. The mighty bombs split the island of japan assunder forever.
Not until years later did Mika-san set about undoing her fathers deeds, pain-stakingly pasting the islands back with scotch-tape. Like her father she was hailed as a hero too but of a lesser degree.
OH MY GOODNESS. If you think that was non-fiction, i recommend a serious (and long due) reality check with yours truly.
GAHGAHGAH i felt like craping (and did a good job). Its so GREAT to be after the exams.
